Three Key Rules of Effective Communication

1. Focusing

This means that the person who is speaking has the center of attention. The listener maintains eye contact with the speaker at a comfortable level. He/She pays attention to him/her and does not take the focus away by interrupting, telling his/her own stories, or giving his/her unsolicited opinions.

2. Listen Without Interrupting

Nods, smiles and expressions of understanding, when sincerely given, help communicate acceptance. Although the listener may not necessarily agree with the speaker, he/she listens respectfully and with interest. Acceptance means giving support so that the speaker feels comfortable in continuing to explore thoughts and share experience.

3. Drawing Out

Through words, nods, and most importantly asking good questions, the listener helps encourage the speaker and makes it easier for him/her to express him/herself. Examples of “drawing out” questions are:

What are some of the reasons why you did that?
How did you feel afterward?
If you could do it over, how would you do it differently?
What do you mean by … ?
What happened then?
What do you like/think about that?
Where did you go then?
What was your reaction to that?
Are you glad (sad) about that? What are the reasons?
Have you thought about the possibility that…?
How do you think things might have been different in that situation?
How do you do that?
What else can you tell me about that?